Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize