I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
