I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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