I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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