Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize