We won't sleep together?
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
