She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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