she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
