thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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