Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think my moral compass just broke
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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