Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
