so that wasnt chicken after all
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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