I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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