It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
