He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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