I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
