How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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