oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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