my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
