id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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