i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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