Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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