hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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