I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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