Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
