His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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