I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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