the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
