and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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