Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
