I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
