can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
