this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
