Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
