You made me cry and you don't even care
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My feet surprised me
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