I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
