I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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