drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
