did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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