just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize