And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
