i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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