I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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