Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
