If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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