hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
