So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize