new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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