i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
