We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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