New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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