yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
