Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
