its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
