I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
