I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
