We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
