I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
