I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
