did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
