Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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