mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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