talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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